If I am honest, I never really expected to make it as far as I did.
But I was so determined. I have never applied myself to anything the way I did with this.
And then old mate reality decided it had been too long between beers and wanted to hang out. I have been ignoring his calls for a while. He is a bit of a fuckwit.
So I left my job. That one that was suppose to be my end game. It was a hard pill to swallow. I had been gagging on it for a while. Eventually I was able to wash it down with some humble juice and accepted the fact that not everything is for everyone.
For the first time in years, I am in limbo. It is different this time though. Where previously I didn’t give shit, I now have this excess drive and desire to do something, but no idea where to channel it.
I almost wish I could just go back to being that apathetic piece of shit who was content with selling his PS3 games for durries.
Almost..
I know it was for the best.
I know that I still have options.
I know that it doesn’t have to be the end of it.
I just need to change gears. Maybe swerve a little so that I don’t end up crashing through someone’s bedroom window while they are sleeping.
I mean Jesus Christ it’s only been a couple of hours and already I am talking myself into an existential crisis.
For now I am just going to try and relax. I’m going to spend some quality time with the grub. I will find myself a half decent laptop to develop on, and just fuck with things. Maybe I’ll even get myself a second hand guitar and start playing again.
I don’t know. I’m sure it will be fine..