As I lay there staring up at the ceiling, listening to the buzz of the overhead fan. I couldn’t help asking myself
“Why the fuck do I have the fan on on the middle of winter?”
I pondered on this for a moment, only to be struck by another strange thought.
“Is it even winter right now?”
The wind was blowing outside, and I have been wearing cardigans every day, so I guess I just assumed it was.
But the reality was, I had no fucking idea what season we are in right now.
I was also very uncomfortable being in bed. Courtney had commandeered about 80 percent of the blankets in her sleep.
She must dream about being a fucking caterpillar or something.
She wraps them up so tightly around herself that I can barely get a corner out to cover me bits with.
Then there’s the dog. I don’t know why the fuck she insists on sleeping sideways in the bed. I forget she’s there and I roll over for a cuddle, only to cop a dog foot to the guts.
I spent like six months training her to sleep in her crate. Then one night we thought “aww she’s so cute, she can sleep in the bed this once”
And now this is my life.
I was left with about 8 inches to fit my entire body. With no blanket. And for reasons I still don’t fully understand… the fan going.
So I decided to get up and write a blog. And this was the best I could come up with.
Can somebody pleeeeease suggest a new gimmick for me. Or some kind of writing prompt, or life prompt. Something I can write about.