A cautionary tale

Todays blog was supposed to be about how I have signed up for the spartan race, and how I am raising money for charity. I was going to go into detail about my current fitness level, and begin to track my progress through this blog.

but something happend that I feel is more important.

i need to warn people about this.

so here we go…

i attended the gym today with my mate Aaron. He is helping me to train up for this race that I am going to be doing. It was leg day, and I have these scrawny little pegs attached to me. So I really sucked.

but I was still very sore. So when I got home I thought I should do some preemptive recovery.

I ran myself a hot Epsom salt bath. I soaked for about 45 minutes. I jumped out, dried myself off, and got hold of some of this stuff..

IMG_0579

(Extra strength. We don’t half ass things anymore in this house)

I didn’t bother to put clothes on. Nobody else was home and it was my legs that needed the attention anyway.

i squirted a good amount into the palm of my hand and rubbed my hands together in order to get a good spread. I then began vigorously massaging it into the muscles on my legs.

i began with my calfs, and worked my way up to my thighs, outer and then inner.

in my attempt to get it deep into the muscle, I must have accidentally brushed up against the old meat and two veg a couple of times. It tingled slightly, but I didn’t think anything of it.

as the seconds passed the tingle started to become a mild burning sensation.

It was at this point in time I thought to myself “I should probably chuck some undies on before doing this next time”

oh how I wish I had this thought before hand.

i think the best way to describe the pain that I felt in the next few seconds would be, ten thousand ants. These ants decided to get together and launch a co-ordinated attack against the lower half of my scrotum.

IMG_0589(imagine these… stinging my balls)

 

 

it was excruciating. I didn’t know what to do. my first reaction was to rub the burning area. brilliant idea huh.

my hands we’re still covered in deep heat.

it was becoming unbearable.

I ran into the bathroom and jumped back into the hot bath to try and wash it off. I began frantically rubbing my junk like a bored baboon at the zoo.

If I weren’t in such a panic at the time. I would have done a quick google search for “deep heat on testicles”

if I had of done that, I would have found out I wasn’t the first person this he happens to.

i also would have come across this piece of advice…

IMG_0588

worse was an understatement…

the fire of 1000,000 suns began to burn between my legs.

IMG_0590

(Cute photo? Turn it upside down and witness one of the greatest pains known to man..)

This was getting ridiculous. I was rocking back and forth in the tub trying not to cry.

i had to try something else.

i jumped out the bath and ran to where I left my towel in the lounge room. I grabbed it and started scrubbing. I just kept scrubbing. There was nothing else I could do.

IMG_0581

(No time to dry…)

i contemplated going to the emergency room.

if you think I’m over exaggerating, try rubbing some of this stuff on your bits and let me know how it goes…

thankfully after a few minutes the pain began to subside.

This experience was traumatic. the lesson I learned today is, never apply deep heat to your body in the nude… ever.

im not sure if I will ever use the stuff again to be honest.

Anyway, I’m just gonna drop the like to my gofundme page here. If anyone would like to donate, it is for a worthy cause. Any donations will be greatly appreciated. I’m already so close to my goal.

just click the link below for more information.

My Beyond blue fundraiser

thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “A cautionary tale

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