Still trying… Sort of

Woa. I figured out how to automatically post this to Facebook once I write it. How cool.

So

Did I say I was quitting today?

Yea… About that…

I woke up this morning. Put my ugg boots on and Made a coffee, noticed I had no smokes and went to the shop and got some.

In my defence, I am a dickhead, so yea..

I can’t justify it at all.

It’s the whole “two of me living in one body” thing.

There’s the guy who wants to quit smoking and be healthy and positive and chase butterfly’s and shit

And there’s the guy who wants to chain smoke ten in a row and kick the lady who is holding up the line by trying to put $500 worth of shopping through the self serve checkout.

They are just constantly swaying back and forth. It’s annoying as hell.

It was cigarette delivery day apparently. Behind the smoke counter there were hundreds of packs littering the floor.

I looked at them and felt sick. I assumed it was a weeks worth of smokes. Could have been wrong, doesn’t matter. I thought about how that right there, is the amount that people in just this area, who choose to come to this store, smoke in a week. Thousands and thousands of dollars worth of disease and suffering, just sitting in a pile on the floor in front of me. These company’s make a killing from killing people. Bunch of assclowns.

I pictured myself going to the servo next door and getting some petrol, then returning and dousing them. Then I would flick a match and walk away in slow motion whilst “the final count down” plays in the background (I had trouble thinking of a cliche victory song. That kinda works I think)

But I don’t think I would fare well in prison.

Evil! And They have their hooks in me.

I’ll try again tomorrow. I start night shift so there in generally less stress. Unless ofcourse a trauma or something comes in, and then there is heaps of stress, but then I have no one to bludge off anyway.

I haven’t tried this one yet. Let’s see how it goes eh.
Also as of today I started trying to actively connect with other bloggers. Up until now it’s mostly been just for me and friends and family. But everyone seems to like reading it. So why the fuck not.

I don’t know how to go about this though. So I’ve just been searching things like “blog connect” and “WordPress help” or ” I need friends” and then commenting on whatever pops up.

I don’t know if that’s weird. Like, I imagine people checking their blog and thinking “who the fucks this tripper commenting on my shit”

But ima do it anyway.

So far I’ve already “met” four or five people, who have given me tips and what not. So it all seems pretty friendly.

Anyway, if you guys wana share this on your Facebook or whatever. It would be way cool of you. If you don’t, then that’s cool too. I still like you.

I wana see if I can actually make this a thing that I do that people like 🙂

7 thoughts on “Still trying… Sort of

  1. Don’t be too hard on yourself about having taken back the habit. You will eventually make it! But it makes no sense to torture yourself because you smoked today. Try everyday until you quit, if necessary. I can so relate to that. It helped me downloading an app that accounts for all of the cigarettes that you haven’t smoked. I still have it: until today I would have smoked 11.127 cigarettes (!!!!!!!!!) in 1 year and 4 months! It’s insane! Whenever I look at it I feel so relieved to have quit. You can do it!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I DID have a “who the fucks this tripper commenting on my shit” moment with you 😉 I ran a small series of tech tips on my blog. If you get there a computer you can click the tech tip category and get all of them. The rest of my blog is book reviews and author interviews, but I like all sorts of friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good on ya Scattini It’s the best thing you can do. I gave up about 7years days will be hard but you can do it. I used the inhalers if I was going out drinking. Good luck!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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