i have decided to start writing this blog again. This time it won’t be focused solely on my attempts at quitting smoking (although that is goin to be part of it, because I suck and went back to smoking)
im going to be writing about my everyday struggle to just do shit better. There are lots of things that I feel I need to work on. I found that when I was writing them down here, it acted as a sort of therapy. I could just write what was going on inside my head, and it would come to life. It wasn’t just me wrestling with my own thoughts. It made things real, if that makes sense?
I was surprised at the amount of people that read my first blog. It felt good to be creating something that people enjoyed. I gave up making music a long time ago, and never really had any other kind of creative outlet besides dribbling shit on Facebook, so i figure this is a good way for me to be able to express myself.
so.. I’ll start by saying that I am shit at not smoking. I wrongly assumed I was over it. It was kind of like homer climbing the murderhorn. When he looks at the little mountain and thinks it’s not so bad, but then the dude points out that it’s actually the massive one next to it (I miss old Simpsons episodes)
i climbed the little mountain by mistake. So it’s back to square one with all that… Yippie.
im also starting back at gym. I was pretty buff for a little while. I was doing the whole ‘shirt off selfie in the gym mirror’ thing, like an absolute wanker. I was proud of myself though. Right up until I realised that it is way easier to just not go to gym than it is to go to gym. So I threw that out the window too, and just started living the slug life. But if I’m going to be writing about me trying to improve my own life, I have do actually do shit. So I’ve started doing the meal prepping and what not. Eating ridiculous amounts of food. Shovelling cans of tuna in oil down my throat until I literally gag on the stuff.
My diet is another thing I am going to be working on. When I wasn’t going to gym, my diet consisted of two or three red bulls, maybe a hot dog, a few smokes, and whatever Courtney made me for dinner. if I want to make any sort of progress at the gym, that isn’t going to cut it. Also Whilst the steady diet of sugar and hotdogs hasn’t killed me yet, I’m sure it wouldn’t be good for future Nathan’s health.
so I’ll be writing in here whenever I feel like it. Maybe not daily like I was before, but whenever I think I need to vent to all my friends and a couple of random people from Moscow and Brazil, who came up on the blog view thingy.